Righto, let's give this regular update
thing a shot.
I've started volunteering at Jem's
school, and I think I may be enjoying it. Kids are pretty funny, even
the 16 year old ones. They're smarter than I remember which although
slightly intimidating, makes for some good conversations. Early days,
but I think I could get into this teaching thing. Plus one of the
sixteen year olds told me that having me as a teacher “would be
sick”, which, if I remember correctly... is good.
I'm writing this while sitting on a
chartered bus, going to the airport to be an extra in an ad for
Malaysian Tourism. It's funny because we've encountered a bit of
traffic, due to the bus driver not using the massive and never choked
toll road that goes almost directly from our place of departure to
our destination.
So rather than pay probably 5rm in
tolls, he'll pay probably 20rm extra in fuel and take an extra half
an hour in transit time. I like that this is the preceding action
before shooting an ad about how awesome Malaysia is.
Wait on.. we have a development. He has
now turned onto the MEX, which, you should know, is the best motorway
to take. Which means he wasn't avoiding tolls, he just didn't know
the right way to get from KL's largest train station to KL's largest
airport. Yep, still funny.
I think we have living fairly well down
pat now. Mrs Welsh and can eat a fantastic meal of tandoori chicken,
garlic naan, and tosai masala (washed down of course with refreshing
iced lime tea) for 20rm (about $7) at our favourite mamak. I can buy
Australian fillet steak for $10 a kilo, and a slab of duty free
Tiger, which tastes almost exactly like beer, for $28. We also have a
contact for discount wine and spirits.
Our contact ('cos every white guy has a
booze guy) doesn't import duty free beer via fishing boat from Langkawi like
everyone else does, rather he has his own importing licence and runs
his business from home. I can buy most things off him for duty free
prices, and it's delivered to my door free of charge in the boot of
his Proton.
I had a good chat to booze man Kamal
one day, as he gave me a lift into town. Tragically, he doesn't sing,
and the importing business is something he does after hours as a
second job. His first job is in admin at a nearby International
school.
Clever him. He's surrounded himself by
cashed up white alcoholics.
He does that for however many hours,
does his beer deliveries, and then goes to his third job... as a
Police detective, on night shift.
“You're a what?” said I, obviously
surprised.
He smiled. “I tend to arrive late and
leave pretty early.”
“Kamal when do you sleep??”
“Oh, I get about four hours a night.
I get by ok on that.”
He then went on to tell me that he's on
track to retire at forty. Clever him indeed.
In other news, my li'l hog is running
perfectly. For those who don't know (I'm working off the laughable
theory that I might have some new readers) I acquired a scooter a few
months ago, as KL traffic jams are savage, we don't have the cash for
a car anyway, and taxis can get you killed.
I had a pretty bad run with The Blue
Lightning initially, which I'll cover for you now, with prices
converted to AUD for your convenience.
Fault: Bike stopped on highway bridge,
while overtaking a bus with pillion passenger; clogged carburettor
Fix: Indian man pushed bike to repair
shop, carburettor serviced - $12
Fault: Carburettor fell off over speed
bump
Fix: Carburettor refitted, battery
replaced - $20
Fault: Failed piston and rings due to
massive overheating after 90 minute “I have no idea where I am” thrash in searing heat
Fix: Broken parts replaced with parts
of the original (read:correct) size - $80
Fault: Bike won't restart after initial
rebuilt motor test, stuck at 7-11
Fix: Catch taxi, recharge battery, actually run the
engine in properly - $5
Fault: Rear tyre flat after collision
with discarded lump of concrete in motorcycle lane on a rainy night
Fix: New tyre- replaced by workshop at
9:45pm (try doing that at Peter Stevens) - $22
Fault: Carburettor fell off five times
on one trip
Fix: Reattach, glue carb in place with
silicone, secure with fencing wire, zip ties, brace with broken hammer handle and cardboard box - $??
Fault: Drive belt broke on the way home
from resigning at my last job
Fix: Walk to pub, fix in the morning -
$15, plus two beers and a bacon sandwich.
I think we've crested the hill of
brokenness for now. I ring the neck outta the poor little 110cc (0.11
litre for those of you with a sense of humour) single, winning
traffic light battles, crossing median strips and pedestrian
walkways, parking anywhere, and making air over speed bumps as I
overtake BMWs. The look on their faces is priceless.
I even got 120 kays out of the tiny
five litre tank the other day, and a lot of that was with Jem on the
back. I'm happy to admit I'm impressed.
But soon we'll be buying a car. This year's tax return will treat us very, very well (working for six
months on a high income tends to do that) and there's a few things on
the wish list, and some solid convictions on what to avoid.
Firstly, I have a theory about not
buying cars from companies who spend less on development that
Tasmanians spend on beer. So that eliminates anything locally built
from the list. Google Proton Jumbuck crash test, you'll get the
picture.
I wouldn't buy a small Ford or GM in
Australia, so I'm not about to do it here. You can get a small
Toyota, but I'm a large Australian, so that has its issues as well.
Subaru has only just begun selling cars here on mass, so they're out.
That narrows the list down to things
imported from Europe.
Fortunately for me, European cars tend
have the value holding properties of a carton of milk, so for the
proposed budget ($8000 AUD) there's quite a few things on the table.
But I'm all for slashing the list a bit further.
Mercedes: Well engineered, but hold
their value a little well, so you have to buy one that's at least 18
years old. 18 years in Malaysia is like 200 years in Europe. Pass.
BMW: No wagons. I have an unhealthy
obsession with wagons, so that doesn't help. Old BMWs are a bit scary
electronically too. I have a re-occurring nightmare about a 7-series
developing a misfire at idle. Pass.
Audi, Citroen, Renault... no, just no.
Horrendous idea.
That leaves one candidate.
2.0 or 2.5 litre turbo engines, which
is good, as rego fees here are calculated off engine capacity. Good
on the highway, enough poke for the city, but low-boost reliable
setups that should see me through for the next couple of years.
Potential for small modifications (intercooler, exhaust) but difficult to modify heavily, and anything
that discourages that is a good thing for me and my marriage.
ABS, airbags, German engineering, Bosch
parts, class leading (world leading, technically) safety, and
autobahn-capable of the high speed cruising that Malaysian highways
sometimes allow.
For the budget, I should be able to get
one that's right on ten years old.
Bet of all, they come in wagon form.
Only thing is, I have to tell people
something I'm not entirely comfortable with.
You see..
Well, it's just that...
I want a Volvo.
Is there a support group for this?
