Bikes, jobs, unimaginative headings

There are times in life when you end up doing things that you once swore you'd never do.

Some things come to mind immediately, like owning a modified car, or buying another high powered rifle. On the plus side, my hot rod brings all the bros to the yard,(and they're like, why doesn't it start?) and the .308 looks nice sitting next to the .223, .303, 12 gauge and pair of .22's that never see daylight, or spotlight for that matter.

So, things.

Before I moved to Malaysia, I'd sworn that I wouldn't ride a scooter in KL. The roads were too busy, the drivers were too nuts, and in short, I thought widened the odds of me dying of old age to an unacceptable level.

I mean, depending on which body you consult, the Malaysia annual road toll stands at 3,600 or 6,000 for the official/unofficial figures respectively. By rights, it's enough to make you lock yourself in a room and order take out until you wind up on one of those 'It Happened To Me' late night television shows, being winched out of your roof.

On to the present, I ride one daily. Often with my wife, hanging on the back. That's quite a change of opinion, and now I'll explain how it came about.

Firstly, I learned, and possibly conquered Malaysian roads in a Mighty Myvi.

Because you're not some sort of car encyclopaedia, I'm happy to explain that a Myvi is a small, locally built soft-drink-can-with-wheels that is the mode of transport of choice for entry-level car buyer.

From here I learned a few things. For starters, everyone merges into your lane. All the time. So you need to expect that. Easy.

Secondly, the majority of the merging, cutting off, reversing down on-ramps, and stopping in the middle of highway happens fairly slowly. So you have a few seconds to contemplate “Is he... really going to do that?” (of which the answer is inevitably YES) and then respond accordingly.

Thirdly, the right hand lane is suicide.

Seriously kids, suicide. It's where the Porches and Lambo's play. But it's easy enough to avoid.

Two more factors.

I caught taxis to and from work for a few weeks before the scooter came up for sale. In short, some of the taxi rides were terrifying.

The problem with being a mechanic is that when you're in a half million-kay old proton that's hooking round a highway bend at speed is that you're painfully aware of the relevance of every bump, creak, groan and grind to your personal safety. My worst motorcycle scare has nothing on my worst taxi rides. Nothing.

Now, about the road toll. Malaysia has a similar amount of people as Australia, so yes, the road toll is as absolutely shocking as it sounds. But it doesn't particularly worry me.

To obtain a motorcycle and licence in Australia, you have to pass a few tests of skill, be financially stable, and wait. You wait a long time. And then you pass another test.

You have super strict road laws regarding speed, as well as general road manners, and observation of road safety laws.

Whereas in Malaysia, you need to be too poor to own a car.

As to why being poor makes otherwise sane people ride scooters like absolute nutcases, I'm out of ideas. There is a saying thrown around that translates to 'by the will of Allah', which gives a little insight. In other words, you may live, or die, it's all in the hands of God. That can't help. What I know is that whilst there are no guarantees on Malaysian roads, (or Australian roads for that matter) the way you ride has a higher influence on life or death than anything else.

Now that you've digested all of that, I give you my closing argument.

From memory, around half of Malaysia gets around on two wheels. They do so occasionally out of practically, but mainly because of one thing: annual income.

I live in their country, eat their food, and breathe the same air as they do. The difference with me, is that I grew up in Australia, and when I relocated to an essentially developing country, I did so with large amounts of financial replenishment.

The average bloke on a motorbike does it out of necessity.

Millions of Malaysians ride scooters.

And in the end, if it's good enough for them, it's good enough for me.

A few words about employment

In the interest of using this blog for actual chronicling of relevant news regard myself, I'll give you a quick run-down of my employment of the last six months.

Initially, I was happily and busily unemployed. I set up house, arranged a few things, did the washing, and occasionally did modelling work for my cousin's casting agency.

That got boring, and the work got scarce, so I was looking for a job.

I got one, through a friend at the football club. It was for a PR agency. That lasted six weeks.

In the end, I pulled the pin, which was 50% because I found out I wasn't suited to PR, and 50% because the last week I worked for them was a 62 hour week. No including the weekend. Yeah, not really why I moved to Asia. I still like my wife, so I should spend some time seeing her when I can.

Today I completed what may be my first step into a new career direction.

I worked a day at Jem's school. The principal is keen to get me started with them as a sessional/emergency teacher, off the back of my Cert 4 TAE. Short of me hating the work, I may begin study towards a proper teaching degree next year. But it's early days.

Anywho. Exciting times.