Sitting on the plane was nice.


Three months ago, no. Twelve weeks ago (if you say weeks it sound like less... I think) we got The Call Back. 
We'd written off the whole idea. Thought it was a no-show, for at least another year. And then. 
Oh, and then.
Waiting on a call back like this one is a little like being stuck in wet concrete, with a fence around you, and lions outside the fence. Even if you could move you're not sure it's for the best.


I should explain. 
Say you need a lamp for the bedside table. 
I could go to the shop and BUY one, but I might be moving to MALAYSIA and the lamp would be USELESS.
So when the wait was finally over, I breathed a sigh of relief. 
And then I bought a new rifle. 


No, you can't take a rifle to Malaysia, it doesn't work like that. You can't really shoot anything here anyway.
I think my underlying thought process was this: Malaysia is away from everything I like, (cars, guns, football) but if I have this rifle my holidays back home will be AWESOME.


Anyway. Keep moving forward, there's lots of things to do. Shed to pack. Cars to fix. Jem can do the house, and the preparation, I'll do the man things.


So naturally, I picked a few things to focus on. I stuffed them up, too, not managing to finish anything before the time to leave came. I was actually machining a cylinder head just two hours before I had to drive to the airport, fortunately in a different car to that which I was working on.


I hadn't achieved much of what I'd prioritised. The stress was getting up something shocking. 
The Lovely Mrs Welsh puts very few expectations on me, which is nice, but there's still a feeling that I was failing, letting her down you might say, and frankly, true or not, it felt like crap.


It's that special (horrible) feeling you get, deep in your gut, when you're about to sit an important exam that you haven't prepared for. 
Regret. Unease. Maybe a little shame.


What surprised me most of all, was at about seven o'clock, just two hours before I had to leave.
I switched off the miller. The head hadn't ground flat yet (mechanic speak for bad), and looking at the clock, I knew there was no way in the world I was going to complete all the work I needed to finish.


At that point, the strangest, and most unexpected thing happened.


I felt total and utter relief.


I hadn't been that relaxed in three months. I exhaled, sat down, and surrendered. Whatever happened next was in God's hands.


I felt completely at peace.


So yeah, sitting in the plane was nice. I knew, that no matter how hard I tried, or what I'd failed to achieve, that whatever had been set into motion was going to happen, with or without my efforts.


It was disarming, but I didn't feel disempowered.


Strange. But nice.


So here we are, then. Jem's started working at the Australian International School of Malaysia already, I'm drinking coffee and interneting full time now, as opposed to part time as back home. 


It's nice. Peaceful. Soon, I'll be job hunting, househunting, friend hunting, and possibly (unlikely) pig hunting, but I'll be sure to keep you all posted.


Till then.


Josh
Asian Grease, 2nd Edition. 
(but you should probably have read this first)