*Last Saturday, the Malaysian Warriors, of which I am a playing member, travelled to Manilla, Phillippines to compete in a five team tournament. Due to the shorter than normal ground, the rules were set at ten men a side, with a maximum of five on the bench, and no goals were to be kicked from outside the 'fifty' (forty at the most) metre arc. The 38 degree heat was partially offset by the game time of ten minutes per half. That said, after ten ten minute sessions of footy in the heat, it's safe to say we were pretty spent...




Anyone who knows me well knows that I couldn't remember what I had for breakfast, let alone names and football stats, but here's the Tournament report all the same.


In the searing Manilla heat, the recently Mighty Malaysian Warriors lined up on the somewhat short turf to take on the world (yes, the world) in the PAFL Manilla Tournament. Ten men a side were to man the pitch, and the scene was set for a cracker of a day.


The first round saw the Warriors line up to take on the strong home side of the Philippine Sea Eagles. Having already played their first match, the Eagles were expected to have their team structure sorted, and be in good form. Fortunately that wasn't the case, as Woosha kicked the opening goal, highlighting quite clearly that this was bound to be a special day. It was around this early stage that various explanations were entered into with the umpiring staff. Most of the players were of the opinion that although too much of anything is a bad thing, it wouldn't hurt to put whistle to mouth from time to time. The umpires disagreed, much to the authors despondence, but soon it didn't matter much as goals by Eggsy, Flanna(probably), and someone else (not me) had the Warriors up by three points when the final siren blew.
Warriors 4 3 27
Eagles 4 0 24


Full of confidence from the early win, the boys lined up to take on the Jakarta Bintangs for round two. The boys quickly hit the front, with strong defensive pressure by Jimmy 'Bitch Piss' Wardrop and Nate Buma keeping the Bintangs to just two majors for the entirety of the match. Although according to the bloke I lined up on, the poor performance of the Indo boys was more directly related to the fact that whilst they played well in the first game, they were drunk, and by the time we played them they were all hung over, and no-one could be bothered running any more.
Warriors 5 5 35
Bintangs 2 0 12


History against them, the Warriors took on the Hong Kong Faggo.. er, Dragons for round three. Marcus Coombes immediately found some form, dominating the centre clearances and also the HK ruckman's face. And although Coombsey's accuracy was centimetre perfect, our forwards struggled to get the ball between the big sticks. With Ricksy heavily tagged, and myself being unable to kick straight for longer than five metres, the Warriors came into the half time break two goals down.
A heroic fightback in the second half failed to produce a win, with the difference coming down to one accurate kick. Special mention should be made to to Burnsey, who's perhaps misguided effort to break to largest HK's player shoulder with his ageing and tech-screwed one was nothing if not selfless. With any luck, his teeth have by now stopped rattling.
Warriors 3 3 21
Dragons 4 1 25


The fourth round held great significance for both teams, as it was dedicated to former club identity Brian Hammond, who recently passed away unexpectedly. This added weight to the already fierce rivalry between the two clubs, and with Rixxy starting things off in the ruck, the physically punishing match got underway.
The Warriors started hard, with Snakes and Eggsy's gut running showing complete disregard for the oppressive weather conditions. But it was never going to be easy, and by the time the half time bell rang, the Warriors were down by a kick.
It was time to contemplate. We all knew that only a win would do, and this wasn't an opportunity that would present itself again soon. It would take clear heads, gut running, and a fair slice of brute to do the job. 
The whistle blew, and everything began to fall into place. 
Marcus and Rixxy shared the rucking duties, with the midfielders Snakes, Eggsy, Stewart and someone else working hard to shut down the powerful Singapore midfield. Jimmy Wardrop and Buma continued their savage defence of the backline, soundly beating their direct opponents and then sneaking up forward to take crucial possessions across the midfield, further starving the Wombat forwards. Jimmy Drummond put his head to good use, repeatedly throwing it over the ball without regard to life, limb, and the ability to smile. Coombsy put in a huge effort, running down into the forward line to finally take his first mark for the game. Despite heavy protest from the bench, the umpire ruled that five meters really was less than fifteen, and the game continued unabated. (I'm only joking Coombsey, don't hit me) Shane Lawson stepped up to the task, taking the unorthodox approach of kicking a hideous inside out drop punt that flew straight for a major score. Burnsey followed the more conventional style of drop punt for another goal, and with the backline covered, the Wombat centre structure in tatters, and a few minor scores from our forwards, the game was won by just three points.
Warriors 3 6 24
Bankers 3 2 20


As luck would have it, the Warriors again lined up against Singapore for the Tournament Final. 
With team spirit at an all time high, the boys set out to take the reigning asian champs to pieces. All the efforts of the day finally fell into place- the deliveries into the forward line were spot on, with Flanna, Shaneo, Marcus and Rixxy putting scores on the board. Half time saw the Warriors up by nine points. 
At the return of play, the Warriors showed their true potential as a football team, with all working hard as a well functioning unit. It was a pleasure to see the confidence the boys showed in themselves and their teammates, made even more enjoyable by the Singapore boys, who proceeded to sook and whinge at every decision and in general act like a bunch of whiney girls.
The Warrior assault was unrelenting, with both big ruckmen in Rixxy and Coombesy putting away goals, and unprecedented levels of physical pressure being applied across the board, everyone played out their role until the final siren blew. 
All in all, a fantastic effort, with previously unseen levels of fitness, physical toughness, and a dogged win-at-all-costs attitude being shown to a man. 
Warriors 7 4 46
Wombats 4 0 24


Special mentions:
Flanna for kicking six goals, although you wouldn't know it from reading the match report
Flanna for kicking five points
Rixxy and Marcus for giving us first use of the ball all day, and scoring some goals to boot
Snakes for his Steve Monnaghetti-esk running prowess
Eggsy for a massive effort in the centre, playing his fiftieth match during a grand final (which has to be a fine) and not saying anything dumb in the after match speech
Marcus for laying down the law in spectacular blood drawing fashion against the HK ruckman. The Manilla turf still trembles, with the judges final ruling putting the score at HK 1, MC 12 solidly placed fists for the win. And as they say, a win is win.
Tim Paps for playing his first day with the Warriors on the day we won the first cup in seven years- what a jerk




Well done boys! It was my first grand final in ten years, and a massive win for the club. I only wish I could remember more details to better do the day justice. That said, given Sundays performances, I'll be surprised if anyone has the memory to correct me...




Joshua Fines Chief Woosha Welsh